Why the hell does Mario have to rescue Princess Peach?

Is it really worth it, Mario? She keeps running away, you keep dying and spending your lives and you never get anything out of this except your own unrequited love. It's time to find someone else, man. Or just enjoy life and hang out with some Koopas. Let Bowser deal with that shit.

Update from the comments. Here's another good song that asks another crucial question: Why the hell does she keep changing castle and avoiding him?

Come on, Mario. Get your act together, man!